Bhishma, Karna , Dronacharya, you and me.....with Krishna.

      The fascination continues…..with the Mahabharatham , the never ending saga. There is always an unheard story , a new interpretation and always a new lesson !

          I have never been too familiar with many incidents of the war , except for the ones we always keep hearing. I remember from our dear Amir Chithra Katha comics how Bhishma in his white dress, was lying on a bed of arrows and how , someone shouted into Dronacharyar’s ears , that ‘Ashwathama , the elephant is dead ‘….keeping the Ashwathama loud and the elephant low, and how Karna was shot by Arjuna ……but I never knew how it all came about...just the pictures playing on my memory.

   Duruyodhana’s bloated ego and vanity , were compounded many times by the presence of three stalwarts , Bhishma , Dorna and his cherished friend Karna. Their courage, skills , heavenly weapons and boons they had, were towering sky high.  Duruyodhana, knowing that all these  were bound to him, by Bhishma’s oath and Karna’s friendship and Dhrona’s blinded love for his son , ….did not look beyond that and thought victory would be his.

        Though Bhishma and Dorna had a lots of  good will towards the Pandavas, at one point the so called ‘  sense of duty ‘ of Bhishma towards the kingdom of Hastinapur and Dorna towards his son took over. Their sense of integrity being questioned by Duruyodhana, they were minds were made conducive enough to unleash their full fury on the Pandavas.. and  destroy the entire battle field.

    They were ready to use the divine weapons , ( always paralled to the nuclear weapons of today ) like Brahmaastrams. In-spite of being so blessed to have been enlightened with the Gita by Krishna, Arjun was still very reluctant to attack either Bhishma or Dronacharyar, one being his mentor and other his Guru. With Bhishma , Dronacharyar and Karna could have easily swayed victory towards the Guravas...but did they ? 

      So how did Pandavas actually win the war ? For me ,the reason is Krishna . Krishna slashed away the three iron walls protecting Duruyodhana, without raising a weapon..after all he stepped into the battle field with an oath that he would not use any war weapons.

He ripped off layer by layer of the beliefs. And After he spoke, all three of them were ready to be killed – the greatest ever known warriors of the one the worlds’s greatest battle, were ready to be killed in single stroke without raising their weapon….. !!!!!!

   And what a conversation !!!...what Krishna points out to them keeps running in my mind…and were they incidents targeted to win the war or to break down all the Bhishmas, Dronacharyas and Karnas living in us ???

  Bhishma’s sense of Dharma and his perception of right and wrong are world renown. He prided himself on it… and it was all directed towards his promise that he would stand by the king of   Hastinapur. During the course of the war, when his integrity was challenged by Duruyodhana, he turned out in full fury.  Neither were the Pandava's army able to stand a day of his onslaught nor were the Pandavas themselves ready to kill Bhishma, whose lap they grew up on...so can Duroyadhana be allowed to win the war ?

It was at this point that Krishna was ready to break his vow of not raising a weapon during  the war and was about to attach Bhishma with a wheel . He  refrained from attacking Bhishma only after Arjuna promised he would raise his weapon ..but would he actually attack him ? Moreover Bhishma can choose his time of Death.

Krishna now makes time stand still and enlightens Bhishma ' Your Sense of Dharma is no Dharma at all. It is a false ego to stand by your oath to protect the throne of Hastinapur ... and the conviction to protect the king  was bloated to such an extent , that you allowed the Guravas to start disrobing Draupadi  - that silence you held is most reprehensible. Your defense of the throne , allowed  to pamper his son's atrocities . Your stand for the oath, is making you fight for adharma... and protecting your oath is more important to you than doing what is right ......

and how many Bhishmas reside among us ?

 How many times have our self imposed definitions prevented us from doing what is right ?

 How many times our financial status , lifestyles, caste barriers , so called ' family honour' prevented us from reaching out to others ?

How many times the will to uphold religion,caste, culture has caused harm to others and even taken lives ?

Now , can we kill the Bhishma in us ?

The next threat looming large in front of the Pandavas was their Guru , Dronacharyar -

The threat was large, not only because of his immense strength and war  weapons, but also because of the reluctance of the Pandavas to attack their own Guru. Drona, for the master warrior he was, was driven in life by the love for his son, Aswathama - he even become the  Guru of the Pandavas for the only reason that he can take revenge on King Daurpadan for failing to provide food for his son's hunger when they were reeling in poverty.

Now in the battle field, hearing that his son Ashwathama was dead ( while in reality it was an elephant called Ashwathama who had died ), Dronacharya was ready to launch the Brahma Asthiram.
        When Krishna froze everything around to get the attention of Dronacharya, the great guru fumed as to what was wrong in loving his son, wanting the best for him  and now wanting revenge ? Did Dronacharyar really love his son muses Krishna  ?
     Then he beautifully explains ' You have never loved your son . You were only obsessed by him. Love would have made grow and evolve into a great human being but your obsession only sought and provided him comforts. Love would have molded him into an independent person but your obsession for being there  always for  him, has  positioned him in the war , where he cannot survive without you defending him
.Love should have taught him dharma , instead your obsession allowed him to be wrapped up in the friendship of Duroyadhana . Now is he fighting a losing battle for Adharma.

   You cannot even call your self a Guru because the sole intention of a Guru is to impart knowledge to his disciples but you took Pandavas as disciples to groom them , to revenge  Daurpadan and make Ashwathama the king. In fact the obsession lead Ashwathama to even attack an unborn child without qualms.
Dronacharya was now ready to die for Dharma.

  As parents, is our love for our children allowing them to evolve as , independent ,confident, righteous human beings or is our love stifling their growth ?

Is our love providing them too much of luxury, cutting their wings in process ?

Is our love providing a cover for their mistakes , not allowing them to judge and there by getting accustomed to doing what might not be right and fair ?

Is our love keeping them in the comfort zone ,where the will to pursue their passion is crushed ?

Now , can we kill the Dronacharya in us ?

    Next moving to my favorite  Karna. Krishna made Karna chase Arjuna , there by intentionally allowing his chariot wheel  to get stuck in the slush and mud. Thus one of India 's greatest warriors was left defenseless and  Krishna provoked  Arjuna to attack him right then and there. Fuming against the injustice, Karna tries to evoke the divine weapons, which too fail him.

     To the completely confused and disillusioned Karna , Krishna then explains.. Krishna whole heartdly agrees that the treatment meted out to him by the society is wrong. Why should not a charioteer's son be skilled enough and why should a birth deter any one from acknowledging his skills ? The question posed by Krishna was whether the reaction of Karna to this was correct  ?

    The frustration which was brewing within Karna ,drove his life. It was Karna's  perception that the entire society was against him and it was only Duruyodhana's hand which was up holding his respect .It was Krishna who pointed it out to him "  If Duruyodhana wanted to really uplift you , why did he not uplift the entire charioteer class. Your skill and your commitment towards his friendship is fueling his ego that he can commit any atrocity . Your noble thoughts, noble deeds were all washed away in his friendship. You had no self doubt when Daurpadi was attacked or when your brother's son was unjustly killed . Duruyodhana's wish  is your will, not dharma. You should have focused your energy in creating a new social class,, instead you stand in war for Adharma"........and finally so was Karna too willing to die , again for dharma....

Karna died but can we kill the Karna within us ? How many wrong deeds and actions have been justified in the name of ' life dealing an unfair hand '?

How many times has friendship not corrected but actually supported wrong deeds ?

How many times , has the restlessness within our selves not allowed us to grow ?

and finally Duruyodhana's three pillars- Bhishma driven by his vow, Drona driven by son and Karna driven by his friendship gave up their reins to Krishna to up hold Dharma....

When will we uproot the Bhishmas , the Dronacharyars and Karnas in our mind ? Now or after Krishna comes in his next Avatar ?

Happy thinking.. !!!!

.

beige, peach,pink ...gender matters.

    Many a time I find these gender based arguments outright silly....for me,each human being is born  to live a complete life on this planet . Neither should they  expect  someone to handover their rights to them on a golden plate or assume the rights to treat another person badly..... but some situations leave me stumped....no..no...nothing serious except for the million dollar question..can men really not see colours.... ??

        Between two men in my house ( who else but my hubby and my 11 year old son :-) ) who cannot  see the difference between pink and red .. and my  4 year old daughter who used to say ' that's NOT dark brown ....that's chocolate brown by the time she was 2 years.....stand I , also particular about colour combinations and dress designs....

      My daughter's birthday was approaching and my son, who never used to bother about his clothes , suddenly wants to select for his sister.... and for him, some colours are good only because some weird superhero wears it.. and for me , there are  umpteen parameters which go into deciding whether a dress looks good :) .

         I thought I can solve the predicament, by doing my  daughter's birthday dress shopping on-line...and get it done in half an hour max.  One quiet  afternoon..( the only reason my house is quiet is because my little one is sleeping and my son is doing something on his own ) , I sat down to have look at girls dresses ..and all for my high hopes !!!     Soon both were over my shoulder , wanting every thing which popped up. My son with his funky selections and my daughter wanting her dress to look exactly like a princess.
      Soon my husband joined and with my son started telling me to take the ' peach dress'.. I was searching up and down .....and finally they were pointing out a beige dress...and believe me, they STILL call beige as peach !!!!....I have heard and specifically searched that men do see colours different from women....and it ain't a crime..right  ? If I have talk about the colour sense of the men at home , I should also mention the pathetic direction sense that I have ( can I blame that on my gender ?? )   The beauty lies in the difference and accepting it.  Finally after three days of searching, I,...opps sorry, WE did select a dress. 

       When my daughter was born I had decided that I would use the loads of toys  and books my son had for her ( which were all vehicles or transformers and books on war planes and stuff.. ) .. but will nature allow it ?? . My son used to sit on my lap and stare at a page of car parts for an hour.. while daughter refuses to even see the book. By the time she was one, she instinctively used to play  only with dolls .....all her brother's cars and vehicles held no fascination for her. As she grows older , her world is dominated by fairy tales , castles , fairies and pixies...and of course her dolls. Who am I to fight against the strong maternal instinct ? When my son was kid, I remember so well, him asking me ' does the horse use petrol or diesel'  :- ) .I grew  up in a house hold of girls ( we are three sisters ) and studied in all girls school till 12th std .  Meeting my nephews or cousins were restricted to  holidays and so ,  I am still learning as my son grows. Books like famous five and enchanted wood which used to hold me in awe , my son finds them boring and it took some time for me to understand that it is indeed boring for him.

        Looking at my children , I understand that , what come naturally must only be nurtured and not changed. 

   What is most important is that they respect the opposite gender for what they are...and understand that all are human beings, who have every right to weave a beautiful lives around them in this journey called life !!

     

Series on Educational Therapy-2 : When the English Alphabet blanked me out !

..."Then the floods came and.."  oh my,,,wasn't this the common phrase for so many activities that saw a halt  in Nov and Dec of 2015 in Chennai.. and so was it for me.

    The day I finished my course on educational Therapy, was the day when the sky was pouring in Chennai, leading to the floods,followed by endless days of school holidays. Not only were the rains washing away parts of Chennai .. so were the days,slowly blanking out my knowledge on what I learnt to be an educational therapist..It was like learning a new software language with full enthusiasm and not writing a line for code for months after that.

    After weeks, slowly the skies cleared ....and Chennai was trudging back to normalcy. My passion towards the therapy had not reduced and I preferred to operate in a school than start my own private practice , as teaching by itself was a complete new world for me.... , but I was lost on  the first step that I had to take. I then did what I knew best ..from my IT job !! The umpteen presentation slides I used to make when I was Project Manager geared me up and I did what I knew best , make a presentation...I put down, what my course was all about into ppt slides :-)  ...( I can see many of friends smiling as they read this :-)

.. Then next what  ? With this open question on my mind , I came to know of a school which was requiring an educational therapist.The initial discussion with  some of the staff and the vice principle , made me very comfortable....and then came the mail ! 

 In two days, as per the school procedure I should take a demo class for three students of the upper kindergarten( UKG ) for reading and writing skills.

 I felt ..' fine' ..this should not be a problem....and was it ?    It was much more than a problem , because if I had seen it as a problem, knowing me, I would try to think of a solution..

    but now ..I  never felt more nervous and blank in my life because I had absolutely...(I stress the word 'absolutely' ) no clue, as what I had  to take. By the time they reach UKG , some schools would have started sentences, some are on letters, some teach only phonics.....

I resorted to the internet to see, if  I can get an idea and there were more than enough , but still I felt foggy. Then  I tried to understand what  I was actually stumped about....

   .... the content ? no, because I can read and write... :-)
   ..... the school ? no , I was very comfortable in my first discussion and actually liked certain approaches they had taken
   ...... the principle ?  ..may be !!  just kidding   :-) :-) ..in my  career, I have interacted with a kaleidoscope of people....so handling new people should not make me feel like this.

Then it dawned on me that it  was the kids , which were standing in front of my eyes...  If I landed up teaching them something they know or were supposed to know, that would be on the right track..but what if,  I taught them something which was beyond them and they felt it was their fault they did not understand ? 

  Finally, it was the thought that I might make a child uncomfortable, by teaching with the wrong approach, was what was troubling me. 

I see it as three categories 

What a child, at a particular age , knows .... 
What the child, at a particular age is  is supposed to know ......
and what is not mandatory at that age and we as adults, teach them the same and they land up feeling its their fault that they have not understood it ...?

      For some this might seem a very trivial issue to worry about , but for me it was'nt . It could be because teaching itself was new experience for me.and this is a genuine  feeling that so many children at an young age actually experience....feeling at fault for something they have not understood.

       Many a time as parents we tend to think   ( and also verbalize it towards the children) that if some children can  attain certain levels in certain skill sets why can't my child also attain the same level...and finally we are driven by the end result, not understanding that for the child the learning process itself is the achievement and not the end result .. not the grades 

   Human beings are all created with different capabilities .. so how exceptional are kids ? Just because our education system imposes a rigid standardized box,into which every child is supposed to fit into and grade them according to their speed at which they do ..should we commit the same mistake...?

  As parents have we all achieved the highest and equal successes in life ? Sounds absurd doesn't it .. so its the same for the kids. We must never compare and never pin the fault on them for something which is not in their preview or control...We,as parents must first be what we want them to be....and by not stifling them into the common platform,each child has the opportunity to bloom beautifully in this life

     Now coming back to my story , I did land up making a plan of what to teach .Armed with all my colorful books and charts,I  appeared at the school ( still very nervous ! ) ...and it all disappeared the instant I met the kids...one little girl smiled sweetly at me and that was it !! 

    Only kids have the ability to be unpretentious and just allow us to be ourselves..   It was finally those little ones who made me so comfortable and who is to judge that it was me who actually learnt  :-)

Yours
Suji