It was decided to happen after 20 years.. and it actually happened after 23 years :-)

   In lofty blue mountains of the Nilgiris, is nestled the more than 120 year old British school - St Joseph's Convent....with its stone buildings , flowering gardens , huge drive ways, wooden floored Chapel, french windows and its spooky ghost passage ....

    Its the year 1991 and a group of chatty 15 year old girls are standing in front of the school main hall making a life decision ( at least it seemed so then :-) ) .. to meet after 20 years where ever we are .

 Our English Mam Ms Juliet ( who insisted that photographer has to be pronounced as photogripher !!) had just finished O'Henry's famous short story 
'After twenty years', where two friends meet after 20 years , one a policeman and the other a hunted criminal. And we decided to do the same - meet after 20 years !! ( Even 18 year old seemed aged  to us then )

 
    After high school when we parted ways , it was the Indian post office which kept the communication going ( and what a thrill to get a letter from my friends , who used to start letters as if its the middle of a conversation ) . This too, dwindled after a year.

  Years kept rolling by , with each one's life going through a kaleidoscope of colors - hours of endless studying in 12th, college, job, international travel, marriage , kids...... it was the year 2011 and I distinctively remember thinking of our decision to meet after 20 years, but I did not have a single contact with me ( don't ask what happened to FB - I don't even remember having an account then ) .
 
  Fast forward to 2014 and  my elder sister who had not gone beyond sending an sms or web browsing , suddenly became tech savvy, went wizzy on facebook and whatsapp, networking to her friends across the globe .. and thud - who came and landed on her friend's list  ?  my very close friend from kindergarten to high school - yes one among the chatty group - within an hour I was contacted, numbers exchanged and I was pulled into .. ......

                   yes ! - my school friend's whatsapp group :-) :-) :-)

And oh My God !! what a group - more than 30 girls , 100 odd messages zipping across all time zones and sweetest of all ,chatting as if we had left of yesterday and not after 23 years - I still remember the glow I was walking around with that day :-)

  Catching up on our lives , exchanging photos ( and commenting about how young we still looked - hee hee hee ) and most to savour is expressing what is on my mind without a inhibition and being welcomed with open arms , that child rapport mingled with the Coonoor innocence - this is something I guess, all share with childhood friends !!

   This group is  place I can stay away for days or weeks and just glide in with ease.... this group is    where one topic just glides into another..... its a place where even if one or one's family is a little sick, home remedies or get well soon inquiries keep pouring in till its all ok......

   Reminiscing about our school days, when my friends remembered details about me , even after more than two decades ( which I myself had forgotten ) , made my step lighter. 

 With enhanced connectivity shrinking the world, planning rendevouz is obviously on  the roll, for which I am eagerly awaiting ... 

Thank you dear friends for getting back into my life again  :-) 

  For each of us, where childhood memories are so treasured, plugging into that world again after so many years is indeed precious.. a universal feeling  ....

  so signing off with  the St Joseph's Convent School Song

              Hail to our Happy School days ,

              Youth with a will to win... ( pomp..pomp !! ) 

               Hail to our Happy Team Days

               The Game that call us in...............................

Three Cheers to St Joseph's Hip Hip Hurray !!!!

   

 

 
 

Parent's Day..Annual Day..Sports Day..Project Day...Grand Parent's Day !!!!

         I remember the happy days before my school parent's day ( of course main reason being there used to be hardly any classes

) , then when my son started school, it was the annual days, their  sun filled sports days, their school project day which ensures parents have enough work ......  and then  from my daughter's play school came the invite for the grandparents day !!!  and I thought ' wow , nice thought !!'.....

My daughter kept saying' Patti schooliku Varva'...non stop and it was evident that her grandmother was happy . The proud feeling or rather the feel good factor of spending the day at her grandchild's school , win a couple of games and comeback with both their hands impressions printed on a card, was lingering for them the whole day . It was for sure a topic of discussion among her sisters on the phone !

I am sure many schools these days have a grandparents day. Have the schools acknowledged what ,we working parents take for granted ? If we rewind 40 years back , with joint families being the norm and mothers were mostly full time home makers , children had a whale of time growing up midst a vibrant crowd. Child care was not the most challenging aspects of life. School holidays , the rain holidays were not 'thing to be taken care of ', because  the kids will be at home when we are in office.

We have traversed a long long  way ( such a long way that now even our parents are active on whatsapp :-) ) ...  the ever shining middle class , globe trotting crowd making foot prints across continents, economic prosperity,'the something to reckin with'  entrepreneurship  .. this evolution is definitely a welcome one and at the same time  the care required by a child remains the same or is even more demanding considering their exposure quotients being high......

GrandParents house is no longer the place we eagerly look forward to during our school holidays. They are no longer the place in 'my native' where we go for festivals.

With both the parents working , maternal and paternal Grand parenting  have taken a new connotation called 'Parenting'. 
This 'Parenting' will be done only within the confines of the cozy relationship , our kids share with their grand parents.
This 'Parenting' will not impose the expectations or rules , that parents impose.
 The scope of this 'Parenting '  is different and will be done by stretching their physical and mental energy permissible by their age.
This 'Parenting' is done grabbing a good deal  of their space and time .
This 'Parenting ' is to be done , as a second cycle.
Finally, this 'Parenting' ensures a peace of mind for the parents.

There in lies the beauty because this 'Parenting ' because its still Grand parenting. The relationship equations in each household between the Parents , Grandparents and children will be unique and  multifaceted .For sure, its different in each house hold as to who takes more ownership and responsibility , but what ever be the case , this is a crucial factor in one's career development. There is  no right or wrong angle to this , as the need for an individual to work is equally important as the care a child requires. How is this balanced is each parent's individual choice , but as a parent if we want our children  to evolve in a particular way then it has to stem from us and not from the 'Parenting' done by Grand Parents.. because at the end of the day Grand parenting is a favor and not a duty - this blog is a small laurel for them.

Whatsapp...and whats happening - Disconnect to stay connected !!

            Ofcourse Whatsapp had to introduce something new..especially now since it belongs to face book...so bang came the new version which had notifications for messages that are read..( our famous double tick !)...this in turn opened up a pandora box of discussions on another tangent.. the ever prevalent question of privacy. From this stemmed an article I read in a daily news paper which stated that , being in love means staring into each others eyes online and that if the boy or girl ( replace with age group between 15 to 22  :-) ) knows the other has read the message and has not responded , it will trigger fights...because its seems that , the time between reading and responding is a crucial factor ( I felt for a moment we were designing a telecom product !).......
            So what happened to the something called trust in love ? Will strong relationships be really rattled by these single double triple..etc ticks..? or have we reached a stage where our online Avatar has gained more prominence than our real Avatar ........................................
         Honestly I am big fan of whatsapp -few years back it used to be a big drawback that there was no group reply in sms and forget sending media....( mms was of no use ) . Now with whatsapp I am so much in contact with my own localized groups...am chatting away  with my school friends after twenty three odd years , always in touch with my sisters and their families scattered in different cities ...planning has become so easy...and of course the ever crisscrossing videos and jokes and good morning gifs and all the same cost which ever part of the earth you are stuck in ( and may be after many decades which ever planet you are stuck in :-) )  
     hey hold on..why I am listing down which every Senthil,Saravanan, Sriram, Vithya, Priya and Geetha already know ( just replacing Tom, Dick, Harry, Jane,
 Judith and Jill :-) ) ....
Yes... I need to list them down even more clearly , just to show that whatsapp, facebook or what ever app you are using to connect with online is just a better means of communication..nothing more,nothing less
its not life,
its not to be an obsession,
its not your identification,
 and its imperative that it does not  disconnect you from the live people around you.. family friends and colleagues....
             To communicate to a person who is always busy texting on the mobile and making sure your message had got across to them .. for me is becoming a herculean task, Its much easier to msg them on whats app ( you can be sure they read it !! ). Parents are finding it difficult to get through to their children ( to be read as from teen age :-) ) , Wives and husbands  are finding it difficult to get through to their spouses...its a common sight these days that in dinner gatherings, each is busy on some gadget which connects you to the net......busy connecting to the world where connections in real life might be taking a toss ( not will but might ! ) 
             Its ok...its really ok not to respond to every joke, its really ok not to  respond to every group teasing , its really ok when some pictures are not shared, its really ok to get disconnected for some time.....and spend some quality time with people around you. Even Respect has been redefined ' Respect means looking at persons face when they talk to you and not at the mobile - sorry but this message too I got via whatsapp :-)  
     so...get disconnected at times.. to stay connected with life ..... :-)

What's your price today on the Stock Exchange...Mr Groom ?

What's your Price on the National Stock Exchange today ....Mr Groom ?
 
                                                                                 Pharma, Software Manufacturing, Textile Production,  Banking Sector, Automobiles.. the list is endless as to what can be listed in the National Stock Exchange. Anything which sells at whopper costs is a strong contender to be listed in the NSE.
 ok ..ok..., leaving apart the finance world ( which is anyway Greek and Latin to me .... ), what is baffling, is how come all those Indian Grooms who are still demanding hundreds of sovereigns of gold, hard cash , land , fat weddings to share their life with a girl are not listed yet. When they are ready to  sell themselves for such stupendous costs , shouldn't  they be bought into the stock exchange...............................????
   Within my peer group, with our kids well into school, I guess I have been out of touch with wedding huddles for some time.With dowry discussions  considered witless, even during my wedding days a decade ago  , I just assumed that the current levels of  education and exposure , would have helped evolve our dear groom to  understand, that  a healthy and contented married life stands rock solid on mutual respect, mutual understanding and mutual love....and not on the cost of the wedding .
  I vouch that I have seen , many marriages blooming  along these healthy lines and so many young men throwing themselves into nurturing successful relationship with their soul mates.. .......so many times am witnessing dowry being considered criminal ....( hats off to you all ! ) and now to come across well educated, well positioned, globe trotting  young men demanding dowry to share their life ( as if they are being forced to get married !!! ) threw me of gear  .....

--which is why I was  startled
--which is why  I have started contemplating if education has not served its purpose of instilling values.....
--which is why  I think that we are still hiding behind the culture umbrella as a reason for our personal gain  and very far from realizing its true potential of daily yoga , vedic science..( any why talk of this now...? )

Dear Mr Groom , which is why I am wondering  if sometime, somewhere , since  you were child ,your self respect and self confidence has taken a beating. May be it is a painful and accepted reality in our society that , dowry is outright demanded, the wedding happens and the girls lives with you driven by umpteen reasons- her parents , bondage to culture, children,social security......................................etc ,
but  don't you think it will be seventh heaven if  your spouse shares her life with you because she truly loves and respects you .

If you sell your self , where will self respect and love come from ?

Anywayzzzz, Mr Groom, its your life , its your choice - you keep selling your self, you feel proud about it , you live in an illusion that you have showed your dominance....but no self respecting parents will buy you for their daughter ....happy selling !!!!